Blame it on the daffodils

Daffodils always lift my spirits.  Their sunny color and joyful trumpet-like blooms, surrounded by outstretched petals, seem to joyfully shout “It’s finally Spring!” For many they mark the end of a dark and dreary winter.  For me the end of a dark and dreary period of my life.

Many years ago I suffered from a deep depression, brought on partly by lack of sleep, I think. For many weeks I felt like I was stuck behind a foggy glass; I simply couldn’t connect with the people I loved or the world around me. I wasn’t deeply sad, like we often think depressed people are.  I basically felt empty and unfeeling, uncaring, sluggish, tired, unfocused, and very alone -- even when I was surrounded by people. My body ached terribly. I couldn’t focus on simple reading or watching television, let alone work.  I couldn’t make decisions. I didn’t want to go for walks and if I did I found myself sitting on a bench and staring into space.  I often found myself sitting in my car, not sure what I needed to do or where I was supposed to go next. The only thing I had energy to do was play solitaire, with an old deck of cards on the ottoman in my living room.

One spring morning, on my way to work, I realized my work was going to require more energy than what I had that day.  I needed to have a clear head and I needed to connect with my co-workers and the students I served.  Out of the blue I decided to pray, something I hadn’t done for a long, long time.  All I said was “Lord, bring me out of this fog. Help me think clearly and give me the energy to serve the needs of those around me.  Please fill me with your light.”

As I turned into the parking lot at work I slowed to allow a co-worker to walk across the drive.  As she crossed I at once noticed the bouquet of bright yellow daffodils she carried. They were so bright they seemed to shine on her face – her glowing, smiling face.  I couldn’t help but smile in response when I saw her. 

And then suddenly I felt the fog lift.  The world around me cleared.  I felt lighter. I actually felt something. I felt...happy.

Later that day I ran into my coworker and said, “I just want to say thank you.  Seeing you with those daffodils really brightened my day.  I really needed that.” Then, thinking I knew her well enough that she would appreciate it, I added, “In fact, on my way to work I had prayed for energy and focus, so seeing your face all lit up by those daffodils really made my morning.”

She gave me a quick thank you as she also gave me a funny look, so I thought maybe I made a mistake by mentioning my prayer to her.  

Later that day I ran into her again. She stopped me and said, “I’m sorry if I acted uncomfortable when you told me about your prayer, but this morning I also prayed on my way to work. I prayed that I might be a beacon of light to others who are in need.  I guess I was little caught off guard.”

Whether it was a happy coincidence or the power of prayer that lifted my spirits at that time, I will forever blame it on the daffodils and remember them when I'm feeling low.