It should go without saying that recording oneself doing yoga, first thing in the morning, while still wearing ragged pjs and no bra, with no make up on and hair a mess, especially when one is almost 55 years old and 30 pounds overweight, is not a good idea. Nope, not at all. I just wanted to see if I was doing the poses correctly, and I was, but now I've seen things I can't un-see. I've watched a lot of professional yoga videos lately and I guess I had gotten to a point where I was envisioning myself looking something like those toned, thin, flexible women as I practiced my yoga. Um nope. Even when I was doing the pose correctly there were body parts in all the wrong places. Really, that's where my breasts and stomach go when I'm bending over and hanging upside down? Nope, I don't look anything like those size 2 women in the video. In reality I know I will never achieve their slim and, um, supported look, no matter how much yoga I do, but it's difficult to not compare myself to them and think "Blaaaaaaa, you are an old saggy thing", and want to hang up my yoga mat. But I won't do that because my goal isn't to look like them. It's to feel better and look better as me.
Anyway, it's been a difficult week, weight wise. I'm still stuck on that blasted
plateau, even though I've been faithful to the Weight Watchers plan and
my yoga practice. An expert on TV last evening reassured me that plateaus give our brains time to reset their "comfort weight" to our new weight, not the weight where we were and where our brains want our body's to stay. But still.
Also, physically I've been experiencing a lot of pain, mostly in my hips, legs, and feet, which then wears on me emotionally. I was hoping my daily yoga practice would help eliminate the pain that I've been experiencing for the last year or so, but it's only reduced it so far. But that's a start and I must be patient. I do have more energy, though, and I am more relaxed, generally. Having a goal of at least 20 minutes of yoga each day for the next six months keeps me motivated -- I am anxious to see the results of my personal experiment on my mind, body, and spirit. I am determined I will feel "restored".
I've practiced yoga every day, between 20-60 minutes, either at home, in a group class, or with a private instructor at her home. Sometimes I find time during lunch to practice for 15 minutes, then I'll do more at home in the evening. Sometimes on the weekends I plan to practice for only 20 minutes but then keep on going for another 25 or 30 minutes because it feels so good. I move between gentle stretches to more strenuous poses that I hold for a longer time. Sometimes I sweat and get out of breath, sometimes I don't. I always end feeling refreshed and ready for the day, or a good sleep, depending on the time of day.
Regarding my lack of weight loss, I "chatted" with a Weight Watcher coach and she suggested that I cut back to eating only two fruits per day. I had been eating three, including one banana per day, and since those have lots of sugar, I should probably eat one only every other day. That's difficult for me because I eat fruit for my snacks and usually at lunch, because they are easy and are considered "0" points on the WW plan. But cutting back on fruit will force me to eat more veggies, which are also "0" points. Today I brought cut carrots for my morning snack, instead of a banana, orange or grapes.
The WW coach also suggested I eat more protein. I've found turkey breast, tuna fish, salmon, and eggs are great sources of protein and have few WW points. Peanut butter is pretty high in points. Hummus is somewhere in the middle. Mixed nuts are nutritious but the WW points add up quickly with them.
The coach did offer encouragement when she told me my 12 pound weight loss during my first month on the program was quite extraordinary. I need to hold on to that. I also need to hold onto the fact that eating more healthfully is not just about losing weight, it's about feeling good, feeling in control, and about having a healthy, self-loving lifestyle. I know I'm doing something good for me and my future by cutting out saturated fats, processed sugars, highly processed foods, and extra calories.
My clothes do continue to fit better, even though the number on the scale hasn't changed. This weekend I pulled out an old pair of jeans, wondering if I could get into them again, and was pleasantly surprised to find they are too big. I also bought a pair of yoga pants in XL and they are already too big. A couple of tops in my most recent size were also too big when I tried them on, so I bought the next size down without trying them on, but then noticed they are also too big. I think the yoga is helping me tone my muscles, and a pound of muscle is smaller than a pound of fat. If I could just lose that fat.
I think my next step is to work on getting more steps in each day. I also plan to buy a bicycle so my husband and I can start taking short bike rides. I'm really looking forward to getting back out in my kayak.
And all these little things are leading me to be the woman I image myself to be. I want to be that active, energetic woman who fills her life with outdoor adventure. No, I won't ever look like the women in the yoga videos but I can live a rich, full life as a healthier looking me.
If you are considering trying yoga, here is a short video that shows one of the movements I do at the beginning of most of my practices. I try to do it 4-6 times and sometimes will change it up to add other movements at each step, or slow it down and hold each pose. And don't worry, it's not me in the video:-)
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